you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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