This is not my ceiling
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize