the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
