does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dear god my vagina.
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