How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
whose parrot is this?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
