i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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