i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
