This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
