yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
