god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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