1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize