yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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