Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
