I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
