they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
