he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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