one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
