and you said cock pushups were impossible
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize