well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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