Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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