i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just found a bag of teeth...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
