I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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