paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
40s are totally the cure
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
