I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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