***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
