I never want to see another naked old woman again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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