my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
