Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she peed on how many people?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
