Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
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