i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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