Christians are straight up FREAKS
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
