it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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