Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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