Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
