I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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