none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I met the friendliest cop last night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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