So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
