Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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