im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
