Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
