Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
