it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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