Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize