Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
