he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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