Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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