We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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