upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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