I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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