New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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