alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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