I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize