How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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