"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
