What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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