Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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