how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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