Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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