i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Another day, another engagement, another cat
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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